Sheng Chi's top ten tips for indoors cats!

Here are my top ten tips for all indoor good pussycats which I discovered after years of research on human behaviour!

1. Always appear to be hungry...even if you have just eaten and there is more than one humans living in your house.
2. Always live a mess after you have being to the litter tray. It is your humans duty as your carers to clean after you.
3. Always demand attention particularly when your humans appear to be busy. e.g watching TV or working on their computer. If purring and meowing doesn't work try climbing on top of telly/screen if possible and hang tail above the screen (this works better for kitties with bushy tails as they can cover a lot of the screen area).
4. When your human(s) buys you new toys do not look excited or show any kind of interest for the toys for at least a few weeks till they have forgotten about it. Instead show interest for the box or package that came in.
5. Always be present when a human opens the fridge or cupbaord where food is kept...and stare. There is 99% chance that you'll get some treat.
6. Always demand to sit in the middle of the sofa when the human is sitting there. If meowing and purring doesn't work then do the starring straight in the eyes method...it always works
7. If there is a staircase in the house always sit or sleep at the bottom of the stair in the middle especially during the hours that humans are at home.
8. Always leave your toys (plastic balls are better) in the middle of the room, if humans step on them they will replace them with new ones.
9. Always meow loud, as you are in some form of pain when you are on your own upstairs or in the middle of the night...there is nothing more entertaining than worried humans running upstairs to check on you...do this only when you are very bored and not that often as they might figure out that you are 'faking' it.
10. Always try to sleep in the middle of the bed after the humans have fallen asleep and try to push each human on the sides as much as you can...you will have a lot of space to stretch, also try snoring too, it helps!